I completed a full REM cycle for the first time in months and I wish I didn't know what that feels like. Still moving in slow motion over here. It’s nice to stay put, feel stir crazy and be slow. LA has been very poetic on my little walks and outings. I found a dilapidated spraypainted red wicker outdoor seat on the street and felt like I had found the perfect nasty little project to pass the time, I really thought it was pure gold. I Tried to put it under the stroller and as I was wrestling with it, I realized, no, I’m simply a conduit, these shards were meant to be briefly honored by me and then to carry out their destiny in a landfill:
A few months ago I spoke to Rachel Sugar for an article about planning a vacation with friends for T Magazine. I forgot and was delighted to be reminded of it considering I'm not going anywhere this summer. Very cute people involved including Beverly Nguyen, Ian Bradley and Flynn McGarry.
Another delightful transmission from the outside world was an indepth profile on my darling husband Riley in Emily Wilson’s THE ANGEL substack. Since you can't taste anything by reading newsletters, I suggest you sign up for his CSA Wine Club here.
WOW is this a haul. Today we venture into the bathroom together. I bring you the HEAD SHOULDERS KNEES AND TOES SHOPPE for your body and the WATER CLOSET GEAR store for your environs.
Over the last few months, I have accidentally become a skin care rat.… Curiosity can really weigh you down sometimes and my determination to find the best goos and potions out there has got me swimming in quite the hoard of products. I talk shop with the attendants at any pharmacy NOT in America, detox market, Credo Beauty and the herb room… I raid my friends' medicine cabinets and I've listened to every episode of poog. I love reading thoughtful and brain rotting insider intel like this or this. I should say that while I am not paid to promote any of the below, I have received some products for free.
CLEANSER: Sonsie CLEANSING MOUSSE is mild and comes out in a delicate foam. My skin has never been mad at La Roche Posay TOLERAINE and now they make bulk sizes, so you know they’re doing something right.
EXFOLIANT: I know I’m not alone but I think I did irreparable harm to my face in the year 2000 by using St. Ives apricot scrub multiple times a day (there was a law suit.) I try to take it easy now with IsClinical CLEANSING COMPLEX POLISH leaves the face feeling fresh but not sanded.
MASK: Motif PHYTOCERAMIDE MASK 2 in 1 cleanser for a quick one or Drunk Elephant SUKARI BABY FACIAL burns but actually does leave your face feeling like a baby’s. To make it very apparent to those around you that you should be left alone and you are indeed taking care of yourself, the Lesse BIO ACTIVE mask is nice (sometimes you need proof.)
TONERS: I forget who told me this but, “toner”, whatever it is made out of “makes water wetter.” for some opulence: epilogic CoQ10 toner, I’m a bitch for their packaging and love everything I have tried from them. I used to shoplift the Dr. Haushka CLARIFYING TONER from Whole Foods but now I buy it. I also keep one of these Heritage ROSEWATER and GLYCERINE in my fridge for a hot day.
SERUMS: Maelove THE GLOWMAKER smells like BR P50 tho I don't know if this one is also made out of onions, it is significantly cheaper and less abrasive. Experiment BARRIER SUPPORT SERUM for a deep dose of glycerine and Osea SEA SERUM for more mermaid therapy.
MOISTERIZERS: My mother likes to remind me of a story about when in a meeting in preschool, a fellow student of mine raised her hand to share that her hair gets darker in the winter and lighter in the summer, but before she could finish I interrupted to share that my hair gets lighter in the day and darker at night… to this day I apply the same logic (both hers and mine) to moisturizers: different kinds for different climates and times of day. In the hotter months Epi logic TOTAL PACKAGE or significantly more affordable Maelove PLUSH CREAM featherlight moisturizer. For the winter- Embryolisse LAIT CREME CONCENTRATE (This rec came from my facialist Dre when I asked her what I needed to get from the pharmacy in Paris; it costs less than 10 euro there) I also adore Ursa Major’s GOLDEN HOUR RECOVERY cream when I’m feeling extra dry. At night, I swear by the mermaid product Osea Dream Night Cream.
EYES: this department is especially appreciated when I haven't slept in 2 months and my eye sockets look like sea urchins… Ursa Major FOREST ALCHEMY EYE and Living Libations OPULENT EYE CREAM. I also love Dieux AURACLE EYE SERUM and their reusable patch system. BR lash stuff which provides a “Complete solution to the lack of density and length in eyelashes and eyebrows.”
SUNSCREEN: I go through many kinds of sunscreen and have yet to find my GOAT. Contenders are Mad Hippie for some real solid mineral based protection or Saie Slip Tint but we’re getting into the makeup territory here. This summer I am really enjoying Bubble SOLAR MATE for its sheerness and texture but still mineral base. For the big guns lizard people protection I love Elta MD UV Clear and their ugly ass packaging. Also, the people adore the 9$ face sunscreen at trader joes which is supposedly a dupe for Supergoop, I keep one in the glove compartment.
MOUTH: Weleda SKIN FOOD Lip Blam (but you don't need me to tell you that) The SURI Toothbrush gave me a new set of pearly whites, I feel like I just got a teeth cleaning and whitening after using it and I promise I’m not getting paid to say that. For an analog brush I find these TRASK BETTER BRUSHES to be sexy as hell if only to decorate the bathroom with. I have a problem with Toothpaste, one could say I collect it. My roommate in college (you know who you are) once told me I couldn't use her Sensodine Pronamel Toothpaste because it was expensive and hard to find ($6.50 retail, available at all major drug stores) and I believed her and would occasionally sneak some squirts. I will forever think it’s the most luxurious Pâte Dentifrice out there. I also adore ELMEX and will buy it whenever I’m abroad, have even been known to purchase it on Ebay.
OTHERS: Retinol A313- my jury’s still out on this one. At the Pharmacy in France it costs less than 5 Euro and they keep it behind the counter. Online it has many odd and nefarious stockists, (I provided a deeply discounted SHEIN link) whenever I use it consistently, I get a rash but am told this is normal, this is GOOD, KEEP GOING, you’ll thank yourself later…. Have been off the sauce for almost a year because you can't use it while pregnant or breastfeeding. Perhaps my verdict will come down in 20 years after I've lived longer and look younger. But why are we asking these bodies, these faces to endure time effortlessly and then absolutely hating and disgracing the signs of their endurance?
A few weeks ago I had an ayurvedic massage and she told me that the most nourishing thing I could do for my body was to apply oil to my skin multiple times a day! We used to sell this UK based Mount Sapo ALL OVER OIL in the Eckhaus Latta Stores but quickly sold out, I’m going back for more but am currently enjoying the NC based EVERYDAY OIL. At night, I sometimes opt for Osea UNDARIA ALGAE lotion or Sky high farms WHIPPED BEEF TALLOW BALM. I put either on my feet and then, brace yourselves: I. PUT. SOCKS. ON. BEFORE. BED.
Regarding the pits: When feeling more butch I use Weleda CITRUS 24H DEO and for a more femme day Dr. Haushka ROSE DEODERANT (another one I have sinned for decades at Whole Foods for.) For an extra special day, though maybe we’re getting into the parfum arena here: living libations POETIC PITS is always a treat.
After a sunburn, when my Eczsema is acting up or most ouchies in general I use BIAFINE EMULSION and/ or Boiron HOMEOPLASMINE which charmingly looks like a 90’s vaginal cream but actually is the cure to all ailments.
For soap I love Palestinian NABLUS OLIVE OIL SOAP (available in bulk and makes great gifts!) and am a hardcore stan for ZUM SEA SALT bar soap… considering the BRICK
The cold hard truth is that for the majority of my days the routine has been diminished to the wondrous Ursa Major ESSENTIAL WIPES, this CAP Beauty SEROTONER SPRAY and Dr. Max’s Nipple Balm. As for hair and makeup, we’ll save that for another episode and I will bring on some professionals.
Autumn Sonata KARIN CORE BATH SET, I have been admiring these guys' home textiles for a while; feels like the clear alternative to the Bright! Striped! Candyland! Towel game (no shade.) Here’s a vintage GREEN STRIPED TOWEL with a crocheted edge for extra heart break. A set of 6 CONCRETE WALL HOOKS for you to hang your towels on and I love this “OLD TIMEY” ATOMIC DRYING RACK for the same reason. I love this red powder coated FORMA MIRROR from School House and this Diatomaceous Earth foldable STONE MAT. CRANE SCISSORS but these ones have the stops at the end for trimming nose hairs. I don't know how I have lived as a former smoker without a hand carved STERLING TOOTHPICK HOLDER. This brass WALL MOUNT CUP AND SOAP HOLDER or MURANO 70’S TOWL RACKS may feel like a commitment but frankly I am more interested in going whole hog on this and get the 4 FAUCET TROUGH SINK. Who doesn't need a blue plastic BAROQUE TOILET PAPER HOLDER? I think I want this PORTABLE BIDET? I am working on a “ASHTRAY OR SOAP DISH?” Edit but will leave you with this GERMAN MIESSEN DISH that would frankly be annoying in either application but easy as hell on the eyes!
BLUE SPIRULINA. Do not do as I did 3X and confuse this with GREEN SPIRULINA which it is derived from. The green is technically more nutrient rich, but tastes very fishy. The blue is flavorless and a gorgeous delphinium color. While I was there, I also purchased FREEZE DRIED PITAYA POWDER made by the brand “Wilderness Poets” to ensure I can make enviable smoothies at home.
An advanced copy of the BELOVED Zoe Dubno’s HAPPINESS AND LOVE. You don’t need me to tell you this is one of the most anticipated books of the year!
This Pipette SWEET WILD FLOWER BABY SOAP makes my guy smell like a doll in the best way possible, not plastic or powdery but very fresh out of the box.
The ultimate favorite Pyrex MUSTARD MILKGLASS MIXING BOWL broke this morning. She had served me for more than a decade and traveled from town to town. She had an uneventful end, pinched between two odd sized bowls she just softly combusted up there on her shelf. I’m in the market for a new one now and the market sure is plentiful. Perhaps this this or this.
My FIRSTBORN’S LUNCH BOX shit the bed after many years of abuse, filth and scrubbing. The 2 way zipper just buckled under the crust of sand and yogurt. I would recommend the product for children and adults but will be surveying the market for other options because it is rare that I actually NEED something.
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As of this letter, Rotting on the Vine has officially become a Substack. Some of you may have signed up for this months ago and are only now receiving it, others may have never signed up at all (to those to whom I say: you may excuse yourselves.) No, I’m not planning on paywalling it, yes, I would like to chat with you all and utilize the archive function more. So please send requests, comments, suggestions in the chat as we are now officially LIVE.
I can’t continue doing this as a community service (even though I compulsively do it anyway) so will be continuing to use affiliate links where applicable but don't you worry, discretion is heavily applied. If you do end up purchasing something here, know that a few cents have gone towards putting some little boys in LA through Preschool.
PSA: The ROTV MALL IS A WORK IN PROGRESS BUT OPEN 24/7 FOR ALL OF YOUR UNECCESARY NEEDS. THE FOLLOWING STORES ARE OPEN FOR YOU TO LOOT, and being updated throughout the week:
WINDOWS //// BLANKETS //// KID CLOTHES //// BABY STUFF //// MATRESENCE //// BABY CLOTHES/// KIDS STUFF/// LIGHTS //// RUGS //// CLEANING //// SWIM //// BEACH GEAR //// BASKETS //// WELLNESS //// TABLELINENS //// INTIMATES //// ART
The title of this letter was derived from Ariana Reines 2008 poem SUN SCREEN.
A must-read, with much joy and smiles.